25/08/07
WO DE YUAN WANG.
WO YAO ZUO WU DI TIE JIN GANG!!
dreamt @ 1:20 AM
___
___
thanks to all my frens who showered me with concerns when they noe i'm troubled by some stuffs. definitely appreciate all ur concerns but ya, i still kinda feel weird abt it. it's just nt my style to bare my internal feelings or cry aloud to anyone, even to my closest frens. but ya, thx anyway.
also, i realised i hav a very bad habit. i miss too much of the past. tt's the most vunerable part of a cancerian. i cherish too much abt the things that happened in the past. past events, some ppl in the past, past memories. i nid to get out of some of these past ASAP. it's sticking on me like super glue. i shld learn things from the past, and stop reminiscing abt it.
I SHLD..
-learn from my stupid mistakes that i made in the past.
-DO NOT EVER fall back into any past and useless emotional pits.
-learn to face the future instead
dreamt @ 12:56 AM
___
___
12/08/07
MOOD COLOR=MOODY BLUEi guess i am lying when i said that i acty dun feel anythingbecoz i acty feel troubled + sad over iti thought that i could run away from things that will hurt mei thought that i could persuade myself that i acty feel nth abt itthen i realised,i'm nt as mighty and powerful as i thoughtsome things are just unaviodableand what i did in the past just cant solve anythingi think i should face and solve the problem ASAPbut can i do it?i wonder.P.S. dun ask what's troubling me, i'm nt used to saying out my troubles. and for those hu noe, pls dun sae. thankz alot. i rather be alone in facing my own problems.
dreamt @ 10:45 PM
___
___
01/08/07
P.S. people, i will blog. haah. ONLY if i have any ling gan. so dun ask me why i nv blog. oh ya, i tink i will MIA soooooN when sch term starts again~ hahah. so people dun miss me and be patient. Looking at my rate, only the GOOD things will appear in my blog lo. hahaha. so it's worth the wait. aha.
dreamt @ 1:17 AM
___
___
i had tis dream yday..dreamt of: PRSS secondary school daysi dreamt of having a rather ugly disagreement with one of my classmate(it's a miracle that i will dream of him). A few days later, the 'me' in my dream suddenly realised everyone(my classmates and even my closest friends) ard me kept a distance and made nasty remarks abt me. the 'me' in my dream is like super puzzled. what the heck! what really happened!? alot of people hinted here n there, making me more and more irritated. but apparently, the classmate went around the school, black-mouthing me. in the end, i rmbed the 'me' in my dream went up and confronted that classmate. haha. i think i slapped and punched him until he's willing to sae. BUT, i woke up before he could tell me what really happened. WHAT AN IRRITATING DREAM!!
But tis dream remained me of the past. haha. i remembered how some people in my school sided with their 'friends', thinking that they are the victims, and i am the one 'bullying' them. some helped their friends for the sake of trying to pick a fight with me, and not really for the sake of helping their friends, so no point saying much abt them. Mostly misinterpreted the whole situation, sided their friends and i become the 'baddie'. i also realised most people tend to side pitiful, crying party/person. of coz, as i dun hav the habit of crying in front of anybody + i am always the fierce u-fight-i-i-fight-u person, no one will believe that i am acty the suffering party.ACTY, i dun really go to war any-o-how-ly. i will only start to ignore someone when the peson is either getting on my nerves OR did something bad to me.i rmbed my first 'war' started due to tis particular fren who grew jealous when she sees me getting on very close terms with another fren. gradually, she started to sae sarcastic remarks and keep throwing her tempers ard. second war: i trusted this fren and told him a secret. then, he started to use it to kind-of-like 'threaten' me quite frequently. but i tolerated all these nonsenses. i had enough of him when he apparently shouted my secret out during our extra lessons (to prepare for our o-levels; btw what is the conference kind of rm that we had just beside the teachers' office? i forget the name!) my last war happened during my jc times. i feel kind of bad towards him acty, because i became angry towards him becoz of i need to 'protect' myself. he noes what weaknesses i hav, and he always shoot critical remarks at me based on his understanding abt me. i noe SOMETIMES he did it for the sake of pushing me on (a bad method acty), but i tink he just exceeded the limits. gradually, all these remarks, everything just started to weigh on me. i grew sooooO stressed, hurted, low-confident that i realised i need to keep a distance frm him. so, who dares to sae that the fierce and nt crying side is the 'baddie'? tink with ur brain + heart and nt ur eyes before u make any judgement!Looking back at how others misunderstand me, how my all these initially very close frenships ended up like tis makes me wonder:if i really made the effort in the past, to explain why i flew into such a temper, does it helped in preventing the misunderstanding among people? NO, to a large extent.1.it is impossible for an angry person to tell the other party why and for wat reason he/she is angry abt. in a middle of an anger, who in the world got the time to tink abt what others tink abt them. remember: chao jia mei hao hua.2.Human are biased creatures. the probability of changing sides are very very low. once they make a perception on an issue, it's rather difficult to change them. and somemore who will really listen to the 'excuses' that the enemy's side is makingmy mood for reminiscing these memories: fun + abit low mood = irony.
dreamt @ 12:15 AM
___
___
profile
MissY Lim
gender: Female
age: 20+
DOB: 30/6/86
school: NUS
Loves
I Love my family!
I Love Korea!
I Love ancient stuffs. the older the better
I Love chocos and bananas
I Love my friends
I Love $$
I Love Coffee, Tea and ME!
Wants
I Want to go overseas
I Want PSP
I Want alot of bags, nice ones
I Want alot of cool watches
more desires coming soon..
Hates
Fakes, hypocrites
CrEepY crawlers
contact
Contact me @:
xlhm0506@hotmail.com
